before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
