VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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