would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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