we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
