Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
