Got a toothbrush?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
