I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
