He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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