Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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