I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm too high and old for this...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
