He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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