And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
