wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
