Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Randomize