I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
