This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
