This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
