the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
