it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
