Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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