Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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