fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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