butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
