I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
