Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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