I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
