I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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