i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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