Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
