Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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