my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
