And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
