OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
