that's an acceptable place to lick
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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