How'd it feel making her break her religion?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
you made out with another girl for some wings
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
