I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
