you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
