you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
