So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize