i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
