Jerry, you need to find god
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
