I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
