You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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