Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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