You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
