i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
