Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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