$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
send nudes
from the living room?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
