he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
