put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
