I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
