oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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