just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
