so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
