I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
