She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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