Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
