im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
